Having children has opened up my mind to new ways of thinking about God the Father and myself in relation to Him.
I was speaking to my wife recently and said that we will probably be better parents to our second child because of what we are learning with our first.
Some of the frustrations and anxieties we had with our first son, we do not have in the same way with our second, because we now understand that children go through phases.
Our first son's "no" phase and tantrum phase were so startling and dramatic that we had all kinds of worries and fears. But having lived through some of these phases, we now understand that we do not have to get so worked up.
This too shall pass.
Part of my battle as a father comes from forgetting what my children are.
My expectation, especially of my three-year-old, often exceeds his capability. I forget that my articulate, kind and sharing son of ten minutes ago is still three years old when he suddenly starts talking gibberish, throws himself on the ground and pushes his brother.
God never forgets what His children are.
That scripture hits differently now that I am a father.
Some of my impatience comes from expecting my children to behave beyond their present maturity. God never makes that mistake. He knows our frame. He knows our weakness. He knows exactly what stage of development we are in.
And there is an even greater difference.
I am learning how to be a father. God is not.
My wife and I will probably be different parents to our second child because our first child has taught us things.
God has no learning curve.
He is not discovering how to deal with me as I develop. He is not surprised by my weakness. He is not trying one approach, realising it did not work and then adjusting His method.
You are not God's first child, and God is not learning how to be a Father by raising you.
That should change the way we understand His correction and His discipline.
Preventative discipline
As parents, we do so many things to prevent danger and harm to our children.
We baby-proof the house.
We tell them "no".
We shout "stop" when they are running towards something dangerous.
The child often experiences protection as restriction because the child evaluates the command according to what it prevents him from having, while the parent evaluates it according to what it prevents from happening to him.
The child sees the restriction.
The parent sees the danger.
But even then, our best efforts as parents are based on limited knowledge. We are acting according to what we think might happen.
God is not.
Scripture shows that God can act preventatively.
"I also withheld thee from sinning against me."
That is significant.
We tend to think of discipline retrospectively:
What did I do wrong?
But Scripture allows another possibility.
God may act because of where something is going, not merely because of where it has already been.
That gives a different perspective on prevention.
A divine prohibition or restriction can contain mercy that the person being restricted cannot immediately perceive.
That is exactly what the serpent attacked in the garden.
God had given Adam and Eve a prohibition.
The serpent persuaded Eve to interpret that prohibition according to what it prevented her from having.
The insinuation was simple:
God is keeping something good from you.
The restriction was interpreted as deprivation.
And that is still a danger for us.
Sometimes we judge God's "no" only by what it prevents us from having, rather than considering what the Father may understand about where that path leads.
The child sees the present. The Father sees the afterward.
This is where Hebrews becomes so important.
The child experiences the present. The Father is also governing with the afterward in view.
We feel the restriction now.
We feel the correction now.
We feel the disappointment now.
We do not always see what it is producing.
And sometimes it is only with maturity and hindsight that we begin to understand things differently.
When you live long enough and walk with God, you may begin to look back and realise that some things you once interpreted only as frustration, restriction or disappointment were doing more for you than you understood at the time.
Some things you desperately wanted would not have been good for you.
Some paths you were angry you could not take may have taken you somewhere you were not ready to go.
Some correction that felt severe may have preserved something in you that you did not yet value.
And there will probably be things we never understand fully in this life.
But this is where knowing the Father matters.
I know what it is to love my children deeply and still have limited knowledge, limited patience and limited foresight.
God has none of those limitations.
His patience is not uncertainty.
His correction is not frustration.
His discipline is not experimentation.
He knows our frame.
He sees what we cannot see.
He knows what His correction is intended to produce.
And sometimes only afterward do we begin to realise how much there was to be grateful for.
You are not God's first child. He is not learning how to father you.
“See Him for what He is: The ultimate Father.”